im tired of guys. im tired of ALMOST everyone. they all brought suicidal thoughts in to my head. im pissed. im sad. but yet kinda happy all at the say time. i try to be nice to the people i hate. they just be asses back. i try to be even more loving to the people i love, but they act as if they dont care. i tired of it. i really am. people dont understand me. they see a happy 13 year old girl on the outside. but then dont know wats on the inside. im such a terrible person, i got dumped. twice. in the same day. by two guys i really liked. (no they were not at the same time. one dumped me, then i went out with another) i guess im a slut too huh? yea. i know u were thinking it. i just want someone to love. thats all i want. loving my friends isnt enought. i want a guy, a man, to love.and one to love me back. i must be a slutty skanky bitchy whore huh? i hate myself. and many people around me. u read my poetry, almost all of it is suicidal poems. im obsessed with skulls because they remind me of death.i love death. its fasinating and i cant wait till i die. ill probally end up in hell anyways.

guys can really break a girls heart. and so can guys' moms. patrick. i loved him with all my heart. i still do. he says he still loves me. but his mom. his gayass bitchy mom. she dont like me. she read his texts. personal texts. its not right. she said he wasnt allowed to see me anymore. at all. ever. we broke up. because of his mom.

my friend tells me that many people will miss me if i die. i disagree. i could name 20 people off the top of my head that hate me and only like 10 that love me. im probally goin to start giving myself to drugs now. thats better than killing myself right? screwing up my head and insides. i know where to get it. i was offered it monday. weeed. the sound makes my heart rush. i keep saying it over in my head. my friend wants me not to. i will. he says he will miss me. i will miss him too. i will miss him alot. but he is just one person. one person wont change my mind. josh. he claims he is falling in love with me. but i kknow he still loves his ex. they broke up yesterday afternoon. me and josh started goin out yesterday night. he broke up wiht me after 2 hours. he said he wanted a break to cool down. him and his girlfriend just broke up he said. but then if he wanted to cool down, y did he say yes. he didnt hav to say yes. i liked him alot. i still do. not quite love yet tho. i cant talk to him. my phone is dead.

to add to everything. im fighting with too people. alli and ryan.
alli your first.everytime. EVERY FUCKING TIME. i begin to forgive u for the first thing u did, u ruin it and u do something else to majorly piss me off. ur a lying 2-faced bitch. HA! u even made number one on my hitlist. CONGRATS. im not bi alli. i never went out with u alli. i may hav made out with u, but not for the reasons u say. i smoke sometimes, im not a smoker tho. i never cheated on matt with u. i refuse to cheat. ive been cheated on. i know wat it feels like. u broke me and matt up. it crushed me. it may hav not seemed like it, and i may hav said it didnt, but it did. i loved him. but because of you, i hate him now. he believed your fucking lies.

ryan. its your turn. i know i dumped u many times. but it was because u hurt me. u dumped me the first time we broke up. u broke up wiht me for taylor martin. TAYLOR FUCKING MARTIN. shes a whore. idk y u did. but u did. then we went out again. u cheated on me. wth. HANNAH STREET. please. shes a smoking whore. shes probally a pothead too. then after that. i was tired of you hurting me. i was gonna hurt u back. again and again and again. u said that I cheated on u. HA! i refuse to cheat. i really do. u obviously dont understand. i tried to be friends with you. i really did. but u wouldnt stop. u kept bringing more and more hate towards you into my head. im tired of it. maybe u and alli should go out. u both really know how to piss me off.


damn did i let out alot of steam. wwwwoooooaaaahhhhh.